Divorcing parents in Raleigh know that child custody hearings can be stressful. Careful preparation is key. In North Carolina, contested custody cases are sent to the state’s Child Custody Mediation Program before a trial.
You’ll first attend a court‑ordered mediation (after an orientation class) to try to work out a parenting plan. If no agreement is reached, a judge will schedule a custody hearing.
Wake County has a specialized Family Court (at the Wake County Courthouse on Fayetteville Street) with its own local rules; all domestic cases (custody, divorce, support) go through this court. Below is a step-by-step checklist to help you prepare for your hearing, along with tips on courtroom behavior, paperwork, and local resources.
Step-by-Step Preparation Checklist
Consult an Experienced Family Law Attorney.
If possible, hire a lawyer familiar with Wake County Family Court. NC courts note that custody cases are “often factually complicated” and require presenting witnesses and evidence. Your attorney will explain local procedures (like Wake County’s special rules), help you file paperwork, and advise you on evidence.
Be honest and thorough with your lawyer: share all details, documents, and communication with the other parent. If you cannot afford a private attorney, you may find low‑cost help from Legal Aid of NC or consult the Wake County Legal Support Center (see Local Resources below).
File the Custody Complaint and Serve the Other Parent.
If you are initiating custody, you must file a Civil Summons and Complaint for Custody/Visitation in Wake County District Court and serve it on the other parent (by sheriff or certified mail). A hearing can’t proceed until the other parent has been served.
You’ll need to file or review required family court forms (available on the N.C. Courts website or at the Wake Courthouse). After filing, North Carolina law generally sends your case to custody mediation before any hearing.
Complete Mediation Orientation and Session.
By law, all contested child custody cases in NC must go through the Child Custody Mediation Program. You’ll first get a date for a virtual orientation class explaining how mediation works. After orientation, you attend a one- or two-hour mediation session with the other parent and a court mediator (no attorneys present).
The mediator helps you try to reach an agreement. If you agree on a parenting schedule, the mediator prepares a draft plan for the judge’s approval. If mediation fails, your case moves on to the court hearing. Tip: Take notes on points you want to discuss and be ready to propose a parenting schedule based on your child’s best interests.
Attend Court-Approved Parent Education.
Wake County requires divorcing or separating parents to complete a court-approved parent education program. These programs (sometimes called “Parents Forever”) teach co-parenting and child-focused communication skills.
The NC Judicial Branch provides a free online parent education course (about 45 minutes) that covers children’s needs during divorce. Complete this workshop and keep the completion certificate for court.
Gather and Organize Documents.
Assemble all paperwork that shows you are a responsible parent and supports your custody position. This may include:
- Financial records: pay stubs, tax returns, bank statements, child support worksheets.
- Custody worksheets: The AOC form “Child Custody/Visitation Complaint” (AOC-CV-621) and related worksheets. These are available on the NC Courts website or at the court.
- Communication logs: emails, texts, or calendars showing your involvement in the child’s life (school events, doctor visits, activities).
- School/medical records: report cards, immunization/medical records to demonstrate your child’s needs.
- Witness information: names and contact info of people who know your parenting (relatives, teachers, counselors).
- Orders and pleadings: copies of any temporary custody orders, separation agreements, or previous custody documents.
Organize documents in binders or folders with tabs. Clearly label any proposed exhibits. Keep one set of originals and extra copies for the judge, opposing counsel, and the clerk.
Develop a Proposed Parenting Plan.
Work with your attorney to draft a custody and visitation schedule that serves your child’s best interests.
North Carolina courts look at factors like each parent’s living situation, work schedule, and the child’s routine. Consider care schedules for weekdays, weekends, holidays, and school vacations.
Also outline how you will make major decisions (education, health, religion). Having a written plan ready helps show you’ve thoughtfully considered your child’s needs. Be prepared to explain and possibly adjust this plan during mediation or at the hearing.
Arrange Witnesses and Expert Help (if needed).
If you have witnesses (e.g. teachers, counselors) or need an expert (e.g. child psychologist) to support your case, discuss this early with your lawyer.
Normally, custody hearings in District Court are more informal, and expert testimony is less common than in Superior Court, but be aware that any witness you want to testify must be subpoenaed in advance. Character references (affidavits) from people who know your parenting can also be submitted to court beforehand.
Review Local Court Rules and Procedures.
Wake County Family Court has local rules that may differ from other counties.
For example, Wake’s rules cover scheduling, required pre-trial motions, and deadlines for filings.
Visit the NC Judicial Branch website or contact the Family Court Office (11th Floor, Wake Courthouse) to get any specific instructions or forms for Wake County. Note important dates: confirm the hearing date/time, any calendar call or status conference date, and deadlines for submitting affidavits or reports.
Confirm Court Date and Plan Logistics
Double-check the exact hearing date, time, and courtroom at the Wake County Courthouse (316 Fayetteville St, Raleigh). Plan to arrive early (build extra time for courthouse security) and dress professionally.
Arrange childcare – children do not attend custody hearings. Have a valid photo ID and at least one copy of all documents/exhibits. Turn off cell phones and other devices before entering the courtroom.
Meet with Your Attorney for Final Prep.
Go over questions or last-minute concerns with your lawyer. Practice answering questions calmly and factually. Make sure you understand what you need to say and what your lawyer will present.
Know exactly what outcome you want (e.g. primary custody, or shared parenting) and be prepared to explain how your proposal serves your child’s interests. Trust your attorney’s guidance during the hearing – they understand the legal standards and how to highlight the right facts for the judge.
Courtroom Behavior and Etiquette
Dress and Demeanor
Courts expect conservative, respectful attire. “Your clothes make a statement about you and your respect for the court,” advises family law attorneys.
Dress in business or business-casual clothes – avoid jeans, shorts, or overly casual items. Dark or neutral colors are best; skip flashy jewelry or hats. Grooming should be neat (combing hair, modest makeup).
Be Respectful
Address the judge as “Your Honor.” Stand when speaking to the judge or when giving testimony. Do not interrupt anyone. Speak clearly and only when it’s your turn or when answering a question.
Turn off your phone; do not chew gum or engage in distracting behaviors. Avoid emotional outbursts: stay calm and “act like an adult” even if you feel provoked.
Listen Carefully
Pay attention to what’s being said. If you hear something you want to raise with your attorney, jot a discreet note and wait. As one family law guide warns, “interrupting your attorney is a distraction” and can hurt your case. Let your lawyer do the talking; you will have a chance to testify and answer questions.
Punctuality
Arrive early (at least 30 minutes) to go through security. Late arrivals may be turned away or require a reschedule. Check in with the courtroom clerk when you arrive.
Support Persons
Only people directly involved (and their attorneys) sit at counsel tables. The courthouse policy may allow one support person in the gallery, but it’s usually best for friends or relatives to stay home; if they attend, they must behave quietly. Keep in mind that family court sessions are public.
Working with Your Attorney
- Be Honest and Thorough: Tell your attorney everything about your family situation, including any issues (discipline, special needs, health, etc.). Provide documents promptly. Your lawyer cannot fully help if details are hidden.
- Ask Questions: If you don’t understand something (legal terms, process, strategy), ask your attorney in advance. It’s part of their job to explain. Going into court well-informed will help reduce anxiety.
- Follow Advice: Trust your attorney’s guidance on when to speak, how to present evidence, and what to emphasize. They have seen many cases and know what a judge is looking for (the child’s best interests). Remember, if you represent yourself, you’ll be held to the same rules as a lawyer – so expert help is valuable.
- Communication: Keep your lawyer updated on any new developments (new job, moves, changes in the child’s routine, etc.). Check in a few days before the hearing to confirm any last-minute details.
Wake County and Raleigh-Specific Resources
- Wake County Family Court: Located on the 11th floor of the Wake County Courthouse (316 Fayetteville St, Raleigh). Domestic cases there have assigned judges and case coordinators who manage calendars and can answer procedural questions (but not give legal advice). If in doubt, call the Family Court office or the case coordinator for your judge.
- Mediation Office: Wake County’s Custody Mediation is managed locally (office phone 919‑792‑4425). After filing, the court will send notices for your mediation dates.
- Parent Education: Wake County partners with local programs (e.g. Parents Forever through Triangle Family Services) to offer required co-parenting classes. Check with the Wake Family Court or the Wake County Courthouse for approved class schedules.
- InterAct (Domestic Violence Help): If domestic violence is an issue, Wake County’s InterAct office (919‑828‑7501) provides counseling and resources for families. Courts may order offender programs or supervised visitation in DV cases.
- Wake County Guardian ad Litem Program: The GAL program (919‑792‑5353) advocates for children’s interests in high-conflict cases. If a GAL is appointed, cooperate fully with them.
- Legal Support Center: The Wake County Legal Support Center (across from the Civil Clerk’s office in the Raleigh Courthouse, Room 125) is a free resource hub for people without lawyers. Staff there can provide legal forms, answer procedural questions, and refer you to legal aid or clinics – but they cannot give legal advice. If you’re representing yourself, a visit there can help you complete forms correctly and understand court steps.
- Official Websites: The NC Judicial Branch has help topics and forms online. For example, see the Child Custody Help Topic on for general process information. The Wake County government website and court calendars (wcfcc.com) also post local schedules and notices.
Bottom Line
Preparation is the best way to protect your family’s interests. Give yourself plenty of time before the hearing to meet these steps. Stay organized, respectful, and focused on your child’s needs. Use local resources (mediation, parent classes, legal support) and professional guidance to walk into court with confidence. An informed, composed parent who follows the rules will make the best impression on the judge considering the best interests of the child.
Sources: Authoritative information from the North Carolina Judicial Branch and local Wake County resources was used to compile these guidelines.